Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Hairy Business

So up until a couple (3 or 4) months ago I had long long hair..past the middle of my back long curly hair. Which I enjoyed...mostly. Long swirly golden hair (my son used to describe it as such)
My hubby mostly enjoyed this hair as well (even though I had almost none when we met...black pixie cut).

HOWEVER through the magic of child birth I went from lovely flowing locks to limp thinning scraggly clumps with nary (sp?) a curl to be found.
ugh.

So after almost a year of trim and highlights and mousse and other fruitless efforts I cut it all off. I THOUGHT that my new straight thinner hair would be perfect for a long bob...I was wrong...
Let me tell you my hairdresser story.

Since I usually get my hair done in the city we fled 3 years ago, I decided it was time to find a local hairdresser and be done with it. A friend of mine recommended one. Excellent!
I made an appointment for myself and my younger (by 8 years) sister who was visiting and has sinfully bad hair practices.
We arrived a little late, I got lost. Stef is quickly ushered into the chair (which is located in an addition at the back of her house!!!) and the chit chat begins.
"So? Do you go to highschool here?" Hairdresser asks
She thinks we are SO young! She thinks I am in highschool too...I love this old broad. She's getting a big fat tip.
blah blah blah...her hair is done and now it's my turn.

So after the washing and draping is finished she starts her chatter with me.
"so did you move here with your husband or have you always lived here?"
bitch
"uh yeah...he has his own business...blah blah blah"
So we move on to what I want done with my hair.
I say the words LONG LAYERED BOB to her and it's like I'm speaking pig latin.
OK she says....(wrong...not ok)
Then I mention that I may want bangs as it had been about 10 yrs since I had grown them out.
"oh" she says "well....maybe just some wispy ones cause your face is.....round and FULL"
old crone called me fat
"also" she adds "for it to really be a bob it needs to be cut to your jaw line otherwise it would just be a all one length"
?
ok
cut cut cut snip snip snip....mountains of hair falling to the floor...UGLY wispy bangs are added.
Then she says "maybe in the spring you will come back so we can cover up all this silver"
I LOSE IT! I grab her by her little dykey hair do and smash her head in the cheap mirror in front of me.
THEN I stick her under the tap and hold her there until she promises to stop being such a bitch!
ok...well maybe not but MAN ALIVE!
I didn't let her dry it and I didn't tip her....much.
NOW months later I have a horrible grown out bob that has gross bangs that have recently decided to CURL!
I HATE it...I want my nice hair back.

whoa is me.