Wednesday, July 14, 2004

How My Day Quickly Went To Shit

To begin with I was awoken in the middle of the night by a thunderstorm and very shortly afterwards the aroma of SHIT, more specifically dog shit.

Chris quickly cleaned it up and we went back to sleep.
This morning my oldest one woke me up and I begrudgingly made my way out of bed and down the stairs.
"Be careful on the stairs" he says "someone pooped on there"
Someone?
There was poop on two spots on the stairs, and let me just tell you...NOT HEALTHY POOP. Two spots by the landing (ceramic tile thank god). Two in living room.
I got most of cleaned up before I heaved my stomach contents into the main floor washroom.

ICK! Double ICK even!

THEN! Noah wakes up, naked and poop free. I bring him down stairs and go about preparing breakfast for him.

"Mommy! Noah pooped on the floor!"

I place my head on the counter repeatedly and quickly.

I find Noah in the living room standing in his own poop. Looking a little confused.

I cleaned him up without much incident. Diapered him (totally my own fault).

So my house has not yet lost the SHIT smell all day. Lovely.

We go about our business, and when Chris come home we go out to get some carpet cleaning solution for the carpet cleaner. And some air fresheners, just for good measure.

Anyway, the kids and Chris came home, I went running. Afterwards I had a half marathon meeting (hee!) so I didn't get in until 8 ish.

I open the front door and I am greeted (or rather smacked in the head) with the stench of a kennel. It was disgusting.

Clearly Chris did not get the steam cleaner going.

Clearly one of our pets (Boomer) has died and decayed in here (or she will soon).

On the stairs (the ONLY part of our house that is carpeted) was what appeared to have been some sort of ass explosion.
Shit everywhere, on the step, on the back of it, on the WALL.
It was a hazmat situation.

This morning I woke up to MORE shit on the stairs. I stopped feeding her days ago so really she shouldn't have much more in her. (I'm KIDDING!)

Boomer need not worry about her illness much anymore, cause soon I will just kill her.

I guess we should take her to the vet (or accidentally run her over in the drive way. I'M KIDDING) if it doesn't clear up.

Chris is totally cleaning this mess up. I am far to delicate a flower for that. Besides I am running again tonight and I need to conserve my strength (or something).

ICK!